Article:
Developing Patience
by Sue Annabrooke Jones
This article appeared in the December,
2004-January, 2005 issue of The Isis Scrolls. Copyrighted by the author.
As we human beings adjust to the ever-increasing speed of modern life, we often lose our
patience, and in ways that would have been unimaginable even a few short decades ago. We sigh when forced to wait at ATMs, curse our
computers for being so slow and honk our horns at slowpokes in traffic. Timeliness certainly has its rightful place
in the scheme of things, but it's sheer folly to demand that everyone and everything around us move at the pace
we dictate. Most of us could learn to be a little more patient.
The good news is that patience is a mental skill, one that can be practiced and eventually
mastered, even by the most impatient person.
Usually we hear about exercising patience as it pertains to something else, like
raising children or starting a business. The idea of cultivating patience for its own sake gets little attention, but there
are some strong, compelling reasons for doing so. Impatience makes us lose our perspective, which hinders our power to create
what we want and makes us vulnerable to attracting more of what we don't want. And losing patience constitutes a
misuse of spiritual power. Think about it: most of us wouldn't even dream of handing over our innate power, for
example, to think for ourselves to some religious authority or fascist dictator; yet daily we give away our power to
remain calm and centered to things like long lines at the supermarket and inept sales transactions. If genius is, as
Michelangelo once asserted, eternal patience, then surely we are all spiritual nincompoops at times.
Impatience also takes it toll on our bodies, because it generates stress, which elevates blood pressure
and wreaks havoc with the body's internal organs and immune system. Lack of patience harms the social side of life too: it
strains relationships, causes discord in group situations and sets a bad example. And impatience often produces
haste which, we are told, makes waste.
Patience, on the other hand, empowers us at all levels. Cultivating it requires the desire
to change, though, as well as some measure of discernment, persistence and a strategy. When you find yourself on the verge of losing
patience, try one or more of the following techniques.
- Get real. Adjust your perceptions to the reality of the situation at hand. Don't work
yourself into a lather over nothing.
- Resist the temptation to emulate the demanding behaviors of impatient friends,
relatives and coworkers. This is an easy trap to fall into, hold your ground.
- Look within to understand why you react impatiently to certain situations. Dig deeply
if necessary, because appearances can be deceptive. Impatience may flow from some other dynamic, like inflexibility, lack of empathy,
the need to control people and situations, chronic naivete about how long it takes to get things done or an
unchallenged attitude learned early on in life. Once you've discovered the cause, identify the interior and exterior
factors involved, then mentally weigh each one to distinguish what's truly important from what's not. Determine
where your attachment lies, then devise a plan for wresting yourself from its grip.
- Practice restraint. Stop and consider the harm you might do by acting or speaking
impulsively. Then mentally list the immediate and long-term benefits of holding back.
- Talk to yourself. Remind yourself how important tolerance and respect are. Ask yourself, "Who
appointed you Czar of the Universe?" Or say things like, "This too is part of Divine Order" and "Accept a little more, agonize a
little less." Continue your line of self-speak until you are calm again and your mind is back in Tao. Tailor your
interior dialog to the situation. For example, if losing patience with a child, remind yourself how long it took you to
learn something. If impatient with an adult, ask yourself, "Which is better, judging others or making them feel
supported and appreciated?" Feeding your mind with mantras and questions like these regularly can go a long way
toward mastering patience.
- Use creative visualization to reframe situations that try your patience. Playfully
visualize an entirely different perspective, even if it's out of character for you. Mentally spin out this scenario to
its most satisfying and beneficial conclusion for all concerned.
- Write notes to yourself and post them in conspicuous places. If you're at a loss for words, consider
one of these quotations: "Patience and fortitude conquer all things." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson. "If you are patient in a moment of
anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." -- Chinese Proverb. "The strongest of all warriors are these two:
time and patience." -- Leo Tolstoy. "If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let
it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen." -- Epictetus. "He that can have patience can have what he will." --
Benjamin Franklin. "The reward of patience is patience." -- St. Augustine.
- Meditate on patience. That last quotation above has profound occult significance and is
worthy seed for meditation.
- Affirm patience daily. You'll find
affirmations for cultivating
patience here.
- Lastly, but very importantly, reinforce your spiritual approach to cultivating patience with
practical strategies like these: (1) Allow yourself ample time to get to your destination. (2) Schedule trips to gasoline stations,
libraries, etc. for times when they won't be crowded. (3) Identify those situations that try your patience, then
prepare for them by bringing along reading material or CDs. (4) Go for a walk. Exercise dissipates tension and
restores mental poise. (5) Patience wears thin when blood sugar drops, so stay ahead of your hunger. (6) Get more
sleep. Lack of sleep compromises your ability to deal effectively with trying situations.
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