Ask Yentl

Mental Yentl the Meditation Matchmaker
Answers your Meditation Questions

Dear Yentl,
     I'm taking a meditation class and have asked my partner to join me. Several times in fact, but he refuses. He travels a lot with his job, and he claims that driving on the open highway at night puts his mind in a trance-like state, and he says this is the only meditation he needs. I say that's not meditation. What do you say? — Rowena

Dear Rowena,
     Driving at night can put a person in a semi-hypnotic state, owing to the effect of the painted broken lines on eyesight; with speed, repetition and position being conditioning factors.
     Also, for many people, driving for extended periods of time offers them the creative solitude they need, and there are similarities between creative solitude and meditation. Both are conducive to relaxation and pleasure, which open the door to fresh insight and sometimes revelation.
     In defining meditation, however, we must draw the line somewhere: otherwise, meditation would include everything from hang gliding to playing Mah Jong! While meditation methods around the world differ in form, they have several things in common. They all involve coming to some kind of "sacred space," then focusing the mind, the heart and/or other interior energies so as to evoke a specific state of consciousness toward some spiritual goal.
     So I agree that driving is not meditation. — Yentl


Dear Yentl,
     I bought a book on meditation that has a personality test in it, which you can take to figure out what kind of meditation you're compatible with. I take it you don't consider tests like this to be valid. — Harlan

Dear Harlan,
     Several popular books on meditation offer such quizzes. I do think these self-audits are potentially useful, up to a point. They fall short, though, because they are based on character traits and personality preferences. As such, these tests can have the effect of keeping us trapped in our comfort zones, when we may need to be building spiritual muscle in other areas.
     A colorful, artistic type of person, for instance, one who values freewheeling creative expression and living in the moment, will probably be directed by such a test to a meditation method that fits those same qualities, such as sacred dance. But from a spiritual perspective, a more regulated type of meditation that progresses in stages might be exactly what he or she needs to raise his or her spiritual vibration. Conversely, someone who approaches life in an overly methodical way might benefit most from a meditative form that emphasizes intuitive spontaneity, like labyrinth meditation.
     This is not to suggest that meditation methods standing "opposite" our personal preferences are the most effective. We are, after all, complex, multidimensional beings. Additionally, all forms of meditation have the potential to take us into some unexpected places. But the above examples illustrate how our own blind spots can keep us from seeing where the potential for spiritual growth lies. — Yentl


Dear Yentl,
     My name is Thomas and my problem is this: I have been a meditator for years. My mantra meditation used to be very effective. Through the years I got away from regular practice and only meditated occassionally. Recently I have taken up meditation on a daily basis again. I have tried several different meditations, but fail to feel the "Spiritual Experience" that meditation is to me. I would truly like to regain the feeling that meditation is revealing and sacred, rather than just a substitute for a brief rest period for the mind. Can you help me? — Thomas

Dear Thomas,
     Possibly. You didn't mention what those "several different meditations" are, so I'll address my comments to your primary meditation method, mantra meditation.
     I see two possibilities here. One is that mantra meditation is right for you, but you're experiencing a lull, brought on perhaps by stress, preoccupation with other matters, a change of environment, an emotional shutdown or some other factor or combination of factors. You might want to make some adjustments in these areas of your life and see if that helps.
     But regardless of whether you can pinpoint the cause for your lull, there's a larger issue at hand here: your desire to recapture previous meditative states and experiences. The dry spell you are experiencing is a common occurrence. The "spiritual sky" reveals itself, then retreats, leaving the meditator feeling abandoned and adrift. Disappointment, confusion, frustration, a sense of wasted effort or even failure often follow. These are feelings that can further compromise the quality of one's meditation practice.
     A meditator may even experience this lull as "the dark night of the soul," a phenomenon noted by St. John of the Cross, who wrote eloquently of his own agonizing struggle with it. (Some mystics argue that it's not the soul — whose nature is light  — that experiences the "dark night," but rather the personality. Either way, it's a real pain in the tuchus, isn't it?)
     Being in the doldrums with your practice may be life's way of inviting you to examine your expectations, Thomas. It's hard to gauge the degree of your expectations from an email letter, but you use the terms "revealing" and "sacred" to describe what you expect from your meditation. Both seem like reasonable expectations to me, at least as regards your overall meditation practice. Only you can decide whether you expect too much from each meditative session. Of course, your dry spell may also be life's way of saying, "Get some detachment already!"
     A second possibility is that you have derived the maximum benefit from mantra meditation, and you are done with it, period. If so, it may be time for you to move on to some other type of meditation. Stick with it or move on? How does one decide? Let's look at some strategies.
     (1) Formulate a question like, "Which type of meditation is best for me right now?" Or "How should I adjust my meditation practice?" Then take the question deep into meditation and patiently wait for the answer. Or pose the question to your dreams right before falling asleep, paying close attention in the morning as you are waking up.
     (2) Read Dark Night of the Soul, by St. John of the Cross, and see if any solutions come to mind.
     (3) Practice a complementary form of meditation alongside your current method. You may have been taught that mixing meditation systems is a no-no, which I agree with as far as the "major" meditation systems are concerned. But there are types of meditation (like guided meditation) that are totally compatible with other forms.
     Adopting a complementary meditation regimen for awhile can lift your spirits and get your attention off your "meditation problem." It can also help you to develop other aspects of your spiritual nature (like empowering the imagination), so practicing it keeps you moving forward. More upliftment!
     In choosing a complementary method, bear in mind that even the simplest method can yield useful insights, produce profound realizations and open doorways to expanded states of consciousness.
     (4) Remind yourself often that the meditative life is full of surprises. One moment you're stuck, the next moment, a whole new vista suddenly opens up!
     (5) The meditative life has spiritual lessons associated with it. (How could it not?) From these we can learn a great deal about detachment, discernment, flexibility, gratitude, patience, cycles of opportunity, the perfection of all things, perseverance, etc. Reflect on this concept and seek to integrate its implications into your awareness.
     (6) Order a Mental Yentl Reading, which will open up 8-10 new meditation avenues for you and give you all the information you need on each one to get you started. To learn more about it, click here.

Thomas writes back:

Dear Yentl,
     Thank you for your quick response. ... Long story short, it turns out that my mantra meditation is the one that best suits my needs. Without your expert advice, and my experimenting with different meditations, I would still be experiencing the “dark night of the soul.” I have lowered my "expectations" and am enjoying the benefits that just meditating for the sake of meditation provides. Thank you again, Yentl. — Thomas


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